|
Bathroom Wall Signs
Friends don\'t let friends take home ugly men.
Women\'s restroom, Starboard, Dewey Beach, DE:
Remember, it\'s not, \"How high are you?\" it\'s \"Hi, how are you?\"
Rest stop off Route 81, West Virginia:
No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her shit.
Men\'s room, Linda\'s Bar and Grill, Chapel Hill, N. Carolina:
A Woman\'s Rule of Thumb: If it has tires or testicles, you\'re going to have trouble with it.
Women\'s restroom, Dick\'s Last Resort, Dallas, Texas:
Express Lane: Five beers or less.
Sign over one of the urinals, Ed Debevic\'s, Beverly Hills, CA:
You\'re too good for him.
Sign over mirror Women\'s room, Ed Debevic’s, Beverly Hills, CA:
No wonder you always go home alone.
Sign over mirror in Men\'s room, Ed Debevic\'s, Beverly Hills, CA:
The best way to a man\'s heart is to saw his breast plate open.
Women\'s restroom, Murphy\'s, Champaign, IL (a few years ago):
If you voted for Clinton in the last election, you can\'t take a dump here. Your asshole is in Washington.
Men\'s room Outback Steakhouse, Tacoma, Washington:
Beauty is only a light switch away.
Perkins Library, Duke University, Durham, North Carolina:
If life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life, then let\'s all get wasted together and have the time of our lives.
Armand\'s Pizza, Washington, D.C.:
Don\'t trust anything that bleeds for 7 days and doesn\'t die.
Men\'s restroom, Murphy\'s, Champaign, IL:
What are you looking up on the wall for? The joke is in your hands.
Old Computer Terms, Part 1
BIT: A word used to describe computers, as in \"Our son\'s computer cost quite a bit.\"
BOOT: What your friends give you because you spend too much time bragging about your computer skills.
BUG: What your eyes do after you stare at the big mean computer screen for more than 15 minutes. Also: what computer magazine companies do to you after they get your name on their mailing list.
CHIPS: The fattening, non-nutritional food computer users eat to avoid having to leave their keyboards for meals.
COPY: What you have to do during school tests because you spend too much time at the computer and not enough time studying.
CURSOR: What you turn into when you can\'t get your computer to perform, as in \"You $#% computer!\"
DISK: What goes out in your back after bending over a computer keyboard for seventeen hours at a clip.
DUMP: The place all your former hobbies wind up soon after you install your computer.
ERROR: What you made the first time you walked into a computer showroom to \"just look.\"
EXPANSION UNIT: The new room you have to build on to your home to house your computer and all its peripherals.
اجتمع ثلاثة من البخلاء وقرروا التبرع بجزء من مالهم بعدما كثر كلام الناس عليهم. قال البخيل الأول: سأرسم دائرة على الأرض وأرمي المال في السماء فالمال الذي يسقط بداخلها لي والمال الذي يسقط خارجها للفقراء!! قال الثاني: أما أنا فسأرسم خطاً على الأرض وأرمي المال في السماء فالمال الذي على يمين الخط لي والمال الذي على شمال الخط للفقراء!! فقال الثالث ( وكان أشدهم بخلاً): أما أنا فسأرمي المال في السماء فالمال الذي يسقط على الأرض لي والمال الذي يبقى في السماء فللفقراء
علبة مرندا تصيح في الشارع .... ليش ؟؟؟؟ واحد فتحها وشرد
|
