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True Australian Ghost Story
This story happened a while ago in Brisbane, and even though it sounds like an Alfred Hitchcock tale, it\'s true.
John Bradford, a Sydney University student, was on the side of the road hitch hiking on a very dark night and in the midst of a storm.
The night was rolling on and no car went by. The storm was so strong he could hardly see a few feet ahead of him. Suddenly he saw a car slowly coming towards him and stopped. John, desperate for shelter and without thinking about it, got in the car and closed the door, just to realize there was nobody behind the wheel and the engine wasn\'t on!
The car started moving slowly. John looked at the road and saw a curve approaching. Scared, he started to pray, begging for his life.
Then, just before he hit the curve, a hand appeared through the window and turned the wheel. John, paralysed with terror, watched how the hand appeared every time they came to a curve.
John saw the lights of a pub down the road so, gathering strength, jumped out of the car and ran to it. Wet and out of breath, he rushed inside and asked for two shots of tequila. He then started telling everybody about the horrible experience he went through.
A silence enveloped everybody when they realized he was crying and....wasn\'t drunk. About 15 minutes later, two guys walked into the same pub.
They were also wet and out of breath. Looking around and seeing John Bradford sobbing at the bar, one said to the other, \"Look, Bruce - here\'s the ****ing idiot that got in the car while we were pushing it.\"
Bathroom Wall Signs
Friends don\'t let friends take home ugly men.
Women\'s restroom, Starboard, Dewey Beach, DE:
Remember, it\'s not, \"How high are you?\" it\'s \"Hi, how are you?\"
Rest stop off Route 81, West Virginia:
No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her shit.
Men\'s room, Linda\'s Bar and Grill, Chapel Hill, N. Carolina:
A Woman\'s Rule of Thumb: If it has tires or testicles, you\'re going to have trouble with it.
Women\'s restroom, Dick\'s Last Resort, Dallas, Texas:
Express Lane: Five beers or less.
Sign over one of the urinals, Ed Debevic\'s, Beverly Hills, CA:
You\'re too good for him.
Sign over mirror Women\'s room, Ed Debevic’s, Beverly Hills, CA:
No wonder you always go home alone.
Sign over mirror in Men\'s room, Ed Debevic\'s, Beverly Hills, CA:
The best way to a man\'s heart is to saw his breast plate open.
Women\'s restroom, Murphy\'s, Champaign, IL (a few years ago):
If you voted for Clinton in the last election, you can\'t take a dump here. Your asshole is in Washington.
Men\'s room Outback Steakhouse, Tacoma, Washington:
Beauty is only a light switch away.
Perkins Library, Duke University, Durham, North Carolina:
If life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life, then let\'s all get wasted together and have the time of our lives.
Armand\'s Pizza, Washington, D.C.:
Don\'t trust anything that bleeds for 7 days and doesn\'t die.
Men\'s restroom, Murphy\'s, Champaign, IL:
What are you looking up on the wall for? The joke is in your hands.
طلب من ونستون تشرشل عندما كان رئيساً للوزراء ابداء الرأي في موضوع متنازع عليه بين حزب العمال والمحافظين وعندما انتهى من كتابة الخطاب الذي سيلقيه امام مجلس النواب طلب من سكرتيره الخاص ان يبدي رايه في الخطاب وبعد ان قرأه قال له : الخطاب جميل جدا ياسيدي ولكني لم أفهم هل انت مع ام ضد المشروع فأجاب تشرشل مبتسما وهذا هو المطلوب تماماً.
مرة واحد متجوز عنده دولاب قافلة 20 سنة والمفتاح معاه هوه بس, مراته هتجنن وفي يوم راح الشغل ونسي المفتاح. مراته فتحت الدولاب لقت 20 الف جنيه وبيضتين.لما رجع سالته ايه حكاية البيضتين قالها بصراحه كنت كل ماخونك أحط بيض في الدولاب الست قالت عشرين سنه جواز ومرتين بس مش مهم وسالته طب والعشرين الف جنيه قالها كنت كل ماجمع كرتونه ابيعها.
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